Leaving On A Jet Plane

Today we will be on a plane and tomorrow we will be there!!!!

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We're off!

And the Number We've All Been Waiting For: 1!

This is it: Our last day on American soil before we head out for the adventure of a lifetime, to bring our angels home! WOW.

I feel like I should have something incredibly profound to say.  You know what I mean: something earth shattering and motivational, upbeat and excited, transforming and memorable.

And all I can think of is whether or not I've forgotten to pack anything and if there is a way to fit my pillow into my luggage because I really missed my pillow last time.  You feel transformed after reading that, right?  It was earth shattering; I just know it.

Or not.

Let me try again.

With one day left I'm facing all of my excitement alongside all of my anxiety.  I'm facing the truth that life is about to be altered in ways I can't even fathom, and they're just around the corner.  For better or worse, this is it.  And I can't wait.  After all, the pressure's not on me -- I'm not the One writing this story; God is.  And He knows all that is to come and will not be surprised or flummoxed by anything we're about to encounter.

It's easy to lose your focus when you're adopting.  Adoption has totally changed who I am as a person.  My focus, my thought, my very soul have been transformed.  I understand so much more fully the enormity of what God has done for me.  But you see, I'm not supposed to be the focus here.  That's why God has allowed me to come to the end of my rope.  He wants me to keep the focus where it belongs.

On our children.

Aren't they beautiful?!?!

They are the main characters in this beautiful love story and we're just supporting characters.  So my focus is on my kids.  My kids here, my kids there ... but the children are the heart of it all.  And the only thing that I want  you to remember is to pray for them.  Pray that in all of this, all of our children are protected and loved and that God's plan for them is walked out.

I'm humbled and honored, terrified and thrilled, and ready to burst with the love that is in my heart for my babies.  I can look back and see how God truly kept His promises: if we would trust Him, He would provide.  If we would give him our fishes and loaves, He would multiply them.  If we were willing, He would carry us through any challenge that was throw into our path.  Now we move forward and trust Him again, knowing full well that He is worthy of that trust.  To Him who able to do exceedingly above all we could ask or think... to HIM be the glory!



If you want to help us reach the place of FULLY FUNDED, you can do that HERE!  We thank you so much for your gift -- your part of this amazing ransom!

Just 2 Days Till GO! (And some thoughts on things I've been hearing lately)

There are just two more days until we fly out.  Two more days in our home.  But it feels like we've already gone, because I'm rattling around a home with no children in it.  Me, the "I'm-not-a-kid-person", is absolutely clueless as to how to go about a day without my children. So I decided to spend a few minutes this morning sharing a few of the misconceptions I started out with, and those that I encounter often.

I've also been the "I-like-my-own-kids-just-not-yours-person",  so it often raises eyebrows when I tell people I'm adopting.  It's simple to me; these children are mine.  And as God grows my heart to love these children, I find that I'm loving all children more.  That's not to say I'm ready to be the nursery coordinator at church or run a VBS program (after all, let's not go crazy!), but I've found that adoption has changed my life so much.

Just the other day, someone asked me if any of my kids were mine -- and my kids were standing right there.  It took me aback, and then I realized they were asking if any had been born to me biologically.  I realized it was ignorance, not rudeness, so I tried to respond kindly.  I said, "They're all mine, but I've carried three in my womb and three in my heart."  The person had the grace to stammer and blush, then say, "OH."  I'm not sure if they got it or not, but no way was I every going to respond and divide my children and say some were mine and some were not.  I try to respond gently, but also in such a way that maybe they won't ask the same question of the next beautifully diverse family that they encounter.

Everyone talks about how happy they must be now that they have a family.  I've heard that a few times this week, and every time I've left a person with wide open eyes and hopefully a more open heart to a different perspective.  I'm not on a rescue mission.  I'm not out to earn eternal gratitude.  I didn't "fly over there and radically save a child to give them a better life."  The truth is simple: Papa Bear and I love God.  We love children.  We long for a large family.  And we're willing to go and bring our kids home from the far corners of the earth.  We don't expect any emotions of extreme gratefulness from our new kids, any more than we do from the kids who have been with us for their lifetime.  But the truth is also this: They had a family.  And for some tragic reason, they have been yanked away from that family.  The tragedy may be death, abuse, neglect, lack of education, or a mother who felt ill equipped and alone.  But whatever it was, it was tragic. We're just plan B.  Our children will mourn, they will rage, they will weep ... and they will be loved.  We want to honor their past, and help them create a future.

I've also heard a lot of awe and wonder and the comments that boil down to, "I couldn't do it."  Read the link to that blog post where I discussed it -- and maybe find some freedom.  My answer to that now is simple, "You're right.  You probably couldn't right now.  BUT if God stirs your heart for it, you'll be able to at the right time.  This is my thing, my calling.  If it's not yours, that's okay."

The last comment I want to address is one I've been writing a response to and deleting since last year.  It's one that makes me rage and weep simultaneously.  So forgive me if I don't answer it as well as I'd like.  "I hope you're ready for what this will do to your real kids.  I can't imagine what it must do to their hearts to realize they aren't enough for you."  OH. MY. GOODNESS.  Would someone say that to a pregnant mom?  I truly doubt it.  Let me tell you something, my kids are my world.  And they know that.  They know I love them.  They also know that we have children all over the world, and they are excited to have their brother and sister coming home soon.  We aren't adopting to fulfill a void in our lives; we're adopting because we were meant to.

As for my children, let me tell you what adoption is doing to their hearts: It is growing them.  It is teaching them compassion.  It is teaching them selflessness.  It is teaching them to love all of the diverse people in the world, and to not be afraid of those who are different than they.  It is teaching them to be open to being the hands and feet of God in a world where many think that's just too radical.  It is giving a glimpse of the wonder of heaven and the sacrificial love that provided for them the grace and life they could never attain on their own.  It is making them better people!  And if you think those things are bad for them, then nothing I say will impact you at all anyhow.

Thank you for following us, for praying for us, for loving us, for sharing this journey with us.  Stay tuned for more if you want to keep walking along with us and if you want to partner with us you can do that HERE.

Bring Angel Home from Benji L. Hansen on Vimeo.

A Winner's Choice Giveaway, a Fantastic Gift, and a VIDEO!

Things are moving quickly as we ready to leave for Eastern Europe.  Right now there are TWO amazing ways you can be a part of it!

First, please check out this amazing blog, and the gift we've been given.  I love how God is moving for our children, and I am humbled to be a part of it.  Every dollar we receive from now till Sunday, until the grant is satisfied, counts as doubled.  If we raise $500 by Mother's Day, we actually get $1,000!!!!

Next, we have a Winner's Choice Giveaway.  What is this you ask?  It's a THANK YOU.  It's a way that we can give YOU something for blessing us.  This particular giveaway is hosted by a wonderful woman named Christina and instead of picking your prize, she is letting you choose!  How cool is that?!??  Here are the details:

WINNERS choice! American Girl doll of choice, Dolls for Downs doll of choice, $100 Amazon gift card, or $100 to the FSP/orphan of your choice! ONLY TAKING 20 ENTRIES. Every 5 entries I will draw for an incentive prize, there will be jewelry, cold stone cards, or American Girl doll clothes to choose from! E-mail christina0469@msn.com with your receipt to receive your entry (forward the one paypal gives you).  Donations are tax deductible and can be made at: http://reecesrainbow.org/50204/sponsortucker

Bring Angel Home from Benji L. Hansen on Vimeo.

Three...A Little Number That Changes So Much!

What does 3 mean to us?  Well, it's only three days until we board an airplane to take us to our sweet wee ones.  It's the number of children that will have been added to our family in the last year through adoption (yes, the kids in our family will have doubled!).  And it's the number of times I'll have experienced the miracle of growing a child in my heart, as well as the number of times I've experienced the miracle of growing them in my womb.

Three is a precious number!

And today I'll share three things you can join us in praying for:

1. Please cover our kids in prayer as we leave them to go bring home their brother and sister; they are already homesick and weepy for us and we are praying that they have so much fun that there is no time to miss us too much
2. Please pray for every process abroad to take the least amount of time possible, if that is God's will, so that we can be united as a family soon
3. Please pray a special blessing for everyone who has sown into our adoption to help us bring our children home; it is a miraculous thing to be a part of ransoming a life and a miraculous thing to place into God's hands whatever you have to give and watch Him multiply it to rescue one of His children

If you want to continue to follow our journey, I'll be posting periodic updates here on this blog while we are away.  If you want to contribute any gift, big or small, you can do so HERE and you'll receive a tax deductible receipt.

4 to Fly

Today marks the last full day we have with the four kids who are already in our heart and arms ... and four days till we fly out!

Yesterday marked a MIRACLE.  Yesterday when I woke up, we still had quite a ways to go on our funding.  QUITE a ways.  And an amazing woman of God -another adopting mom- felt compelled to fill in over half of what we still needed ... and exactly what we HAD to have in hand before we left.  How amazing is GOD?!?!?!  And to move through this other woman ... this woman on this same journey ... bringing home her own sweet baby.  Two families, three kids -- will you pray for us all?

Yesterday I shared a bit about the sad parts of adoption; I try to stay away from that and stay encouraging, but I had to be honest and give a balance approach also.  Today I'm just going to tell you that ADOPTION IS WORTH IT.  IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT.

And now I'm off ... to enjoy the four that we have before they leave tomorrow afternoon for their NY vacation!  We have plans for packing, and playing, and snuggling, and adventures.

To be a part of our adoption journey, follow this blog and to support it, make your tax deductible gift HERE.

And Then There Were 5... and Some Somber Thoughts

And then there were five...five days left to take care of all the details one has to manage before taking an extended trip.  Five days left to enjoy our own home.  Five days left to eat American food (although the only thing I'll really miss is fried chicken and Salvatore's pizza ... everything else is better over there, anyhow!).

But today the number on my mind is TWO.  I only have 2 days left with my children before they head to spend one or two months with my family (it all depends on how long Daddy and Mommy have to be away).  I'm happy that they will have fun and stay together, but I am heart broken at the thought of leaving them.  I know it works for some families, but I never leave my kids.  I just don't.  That being said, my best friend and aunt are doing the unthinkably awesome thing of giving our children a fantastic vacation and loving them in our absence; we are so blessed to have them!

I always try to focus on the positive.  I like to share the exciting parts of the journey, and to focus on the blessings and joys of it.  But the truth is that it is a process filled with trials and challenges and heartbreaks.  It's not all sunshine and roses.

I am leaving four beautiful, thriving, well loved (by oh-so-many!) children to go after two forgotten, alone, and well loved (by us!) children.  I am leaving the family we already have to pursue the family we love that is not already with us.  It is worth it because then there will be six thriving children.  The cost is great, but the rewards are priceless.  They are eternal.

In a perfect world I would not have to do this.  In a perfect world, I would never have had to hold my princess while she cries about being separated from us, or my lil man while he weeps for fear that we'll be gone forever.  In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to worry about my toddler not understand or my eldest feeling abandoned.  In a perfect world, I wouldn't have two children sitting in cribs day after day and not being showered with all the love they deserve.

But we live in an imperfect world.  And adoption is an imperfect solution to a horrible problem.  I'm not God's Plan A for my kids, but because of sin I am His rescue mission.  I am humbled, honored, and happy to be that rescue plan.  But it grieves me that there are children who need me to be.

Today I am praying, "LORD, Come Quickly!"

If you want to support this journey we're on, you're tax deductible gift can be made HERE

6 is a Nice, Round, Number too

I remember talking with our pastor when we were in pre-marriage counseling.  The Big Day was only a month or so off, and we were getting to the important stuff: who would manage the finances, how we would resolve conflicts, how many kids we would have...

We did really well till we hit that last one.  If there had been a sound track playing sweetly in the background, it would have stopped at that question.  We never fought about it or anything, but we certainly weren't as unified as we'd been up till that point.

Papa Bear wanted a big ole litter of cubs.  This maybe-one-day-in-the-future-I'll-be-a-momma gal thought one or two was plenty.  He said, "Maybe three?" with that irresistible grin of his (and oh, have I learned to watch out for that grin -- I'm a sucker for it even now!).  And I said, "No."  Years of experience with youth and children had taught me that three was my least favorite number of siblings.  Because there was always that middle kid.  And you could pick them up out of a crowd every time.  No way did I want a middle child.  And back then I knew everything, so there was no telling me otherwise.

{Dear Readers: If you are the middle child, or if you have three children, please forgive my harsh 20-year old self ... this was just how I felt back then, and I'm over it now ... but to share the story, I need to tell the facts}

I smartly informed by husband-to-be that I would not be bearing an odd number of children.  Once we had three kids, he may as well adjust to the idea of a fourth.  I told him I was fond of nice, round, even numbers.  In my mind, that ended things and limited us to my already approved number of two -- because really, who in their right minds saw me as the mother to four?!?!  HAH.  That was the last time I thought of that irresistible grin as harmless.  It's a force of nature in my life.

Ten years of marriage later, I was expecting our third child.  Older, wiser, and more tempered, I had no intention of mentioning a fourth.  Ever.  But as I shared yesterday, God had a plan.  A time.  And it wasn't the same as mine.

I'm so glad His ways aren't my ways.  They are SO MUCH BETTER!

Here I am today less than a week away from leaving to meet our fifth and sixth children and bring them home.  I am so excited!!!  After all, six is a nice, round, even number.  And, if you recall, I'm quite fond of those.  I've given up planning my own future, and I'm trusting God to lay out one for us that is better than we could ever dream up.

So today is six days till we leave and have six kids.  WOW.  If you want to help us get there, you can do that HERE.

7: Perfection, Completion, Now

As soon as I saw this "7", I knew it was perfect for what I wanted to share with you today.   If you've been following along, you know that we are counting down to when we leave to bring our Eastern European angels officially into our family.  Only. Seven. Days. Left.

Anyhow, on to the tale of the starfish (adapted to be told -- my way).  The original story was about an old man walking on a beach covered in starfish, and he was tossing them back in one at a time.  A little boy asked him why he was doing it, since he couldn't save them all.  He answered that he could make a difference to this one.  And that story is what launched this one...

Many, many years ago there was a vibrant, excited couple with a big vision for their future.  This couple was young and in love.  They had a passion for the world and dreams of setting it on fire as they impacted every corner God sent them to.  One of their dreams was adoption.  But that dream fell to the wayside as they meandered into adulthood and started a family.  They kept thinking: someday.  They would look at the world and see the great need, wondering how on earth they could meet it. 

After all, they were only two people and the world held over 140 million orphans.  How on earth could they even begin to touch a need that vast?  It was disheartening.  But as this family raised their children, the need to change that huge number failed to subside.  

One morning they woke up, not knowing their lives were about to change forever, and heard God clearly speaking.  Their agenda for the day was set aside and they followed God's leading.  Had they known that simple change in plans would set the course of their entire lives in a new direction they might have given it some pause, or felt a wee bit nervous.   

That was the day they met her.  

She was an orphan from Ukraine, visiting the U.S. for the summer.  She had eyes that sparkled with joy and swam with a secret longing to be loved.  She had a smile that was slow and beautiful, and a gracefulness and tenderness about her that made her seem much older than she was.  And in her eyes, Duane and Lisa saw the heart of God for orphans.

It was time for them to stop simply praying; it was time to ACT NOW.  That sweet girl never became theirs, but she was how God gripped their hearts.  There was no turning back.  They had to go to her country and adopt at least one of its children.  They may not be able to change the lives of 140 million, but they could love one at a time.  And they could still pray for her, as she were theirs (and they still do, daily).

And so they are growing their family, again.  This time with two sweet starfish ... two little angels from Eastern Europe.  And they cannot do it alone. 

When I mulled over what to share today, I thought about the number 7.  It stands for completion, for perfection.  It stands for the day when there will be no more death, no more tears ... no more orphans. 

But it also stands for something else.  It stands for the percentage of Christians needed to make that day when there are no more orphans a reality Right Now --  now, before God comes back.  IF ONLY 7% OF CHRISTIANS ADOPTED ONE CHILD WITHOUT A FAMILY, THERE WOULD BE NO ORPHAN CRISIS -- FOR ORPHANS WOULD CEASE TO EXIST. And as for the other 93% percent: It's not time to sit idly by and worry over the issues. It's time to act.  Time to pray, time to give, time to launch the 7% who are answering the call to go.  BECAUSE 100% OF CHRISTIANS ARE CALLED TO HAVE THE HEART OF GOD FOR ORPHANS.


To help us on this journey, visit HERE.  And take a peek out our two adorable "starfish".

The Crazy Eight

Sometimes that's what I think of us as -- the Crazy Eight!  After all, this summer there will be 8 members in our family!  WAHOO!  I'd say that's all we'll ever be, but I said that after we were three, then four, then five, and then six ... and now we're jumping up to eight.  So that nickname may not have a long shelf life, but for now that's us.

Why the CRAZY eight?  Well first, because that's what popped into my mind.  We really enjoy the card game!  But also because we want to be crazy; Normal is too safe, too comfortable.  Radical is more what we're going for.  We want to radically love, radically give, radically live.  That's how lives are changed.

Today is the last Saturday I'll have with the four children already in our arms.  It is bittersweet.  But we're enjoying our traditional Saturday: cartoons in our jammies followed by errands and then cleaning so that we can fully rest on Sunday, then topped off with a yummy dinner (hello, pizza!) and movies and snuggles and some silliness.  Days like this are my favorite -- together, simple, and always enjoyable.  There is such an anticipation within me for the next Family Movie Night we'll have ... with two more children to snuggle and tickle and giggle with.  WOW.  Just WOW.

We are getting closer to our goal of $5,000 before week's end ... so please pray that we hit it!  After that, we'll be heading toward our next goal ... but it's one step at a time.  All gifts are tax deductible and can be made HERE.  If you donate and want a chance in our prize giveaway, please comment on our Bringing Angel Home facebook page.

9 Days and Dreaming...

When I saw this picture of the number 9, I got giddy!  Do you know why?  

If you know me well, then you know why.  For those of you who don't, let me explain...

The long story is HERE.  But here's the recap...

Thanksgiving is my very favorite day of the whole year.  We rarely celebrate it on the Thursday labeled on our calendar, because we can't all be together that day.  But we pick a day, in November, and celebrate together.  Our favorite Thanksgiving tradition is to decorate gingerbread cookies together -- and this year, we'll have six children around the table joining in our annual traditions.  So much more to be thankful for!

But to bring these babies home means we need to go and get them.  We need to fly to Eastern Europe, start the 6-8 week long process, and then wait it out each day.  We'll get to visit them, but it will be about a month before they are ours.  And even then, we'll have to wait ten days to break them out of their orphanage and fold them into out family where they are already loved and prayed for passionately.

We have worked hard, sacrificed much, and are still coming up short.  So now we are fundraising  harder than we ever thought.  Right now we are doing a GIFT AWAY!  We have three gifts up for grabs: A Disney Doll (a prince or a pincess ... your call!), an awesome boutique outfit -boy or girl!- made by Props N Things (up to a size 4T), and a lovely Montessori inspired toy set with a castle and people.  Every $5 donation brings you one chance in our gift away!  After you donate, comment on the BRINGING ANGEL HOME page on facebook.  We'll do the drawing on Sunday night!  All donations are tax deductible and can be made HERE!

Ten Days and Counting...

Wow, this is it. The last day of waiting in the double digits.  In ten more days, we'll be boarding an airplane and the season of waiting here at home will be over (and the season of waiting over there will begin!).

Last night we went to a prayer gathering at our church.  There they prayed for our family -- for the children staying behind, the children soon to be home, and each part of the process.  The part of the prayer that made my heart sing, however, was this: "Lord, prepare the hearts of little A and little J, to be ready for the love of their parents...prepare the siblings to love one another seamlessly."  YES, LORD!  YES!  What an awesome prayer.

Today we'll wash and fold and put away clothes in drawers that have sat empty for too long.  We'll pray for each other, and for every member of our family.  And we'll count our blessings.  I love playing the Thankful Game.  And of course, most importantly, I'll PLAY WITH MY KIDDOS.

Also, today we'll be announcing a flash auction for an amazing Montessori style learning toy.  If you have kids or grandkids in your lives, you want to get in on this.  Keep your eyes on our facebook page (link below).


If you want to help us get there, you can jump in our 12 Days of Christmas in Spring celebration with gifts for all who help at BRINGING ANGEL HOME.

And if you'd simply like to add a tax deductible gift to help unite our children across the sea with their family, you can do that HERE.

Gearing Up

And the countdown is on ... we leave in just 11 days!

WOW.

I shared on Monday that I'm at the end of my rope.  Oddly enough, I'm learning that it's not a bad place to me.  Quite the opposite ... it's really working in my favor.

I've also shared about some of the unexpected blessings we've encountered on this journey.  We've become a part of a community I didn't even know existed -- and it's chock full of awesome people :)

Pretty soon, we'll be a family of EIGHT ... that's SIX kiddos!
I never imagined that day would come, but now I'm thrilled.
And don't ask me if we're done ... I'm not a fan of that question these days.
How can you ever have too many blessings??  You can't.  

And I have no idea how many blessings in the form of children God intends to shower us with.  

I just take them one (or two!) at a time and say THANK YOU!

Today I'm taking care of the mundane details.  But they're also exciting.  I have purchased our car seats (I'm such a car safety geek that I had a blast researching and then picking brains to make sure I had reached the right conclusion about what was best for us) and made an appointment with the beautiful car seat installation expert/safety guru I'm blessed to call friend.

And here's my little moment of gratitude for today: I was able to get my dream car seat for less than half the price I saw it for at Buy Buy Baby!  I have seen it decrease in price twice, but it was still not in my budget.  So I prayed.  And the other night, I just felt it was time to order so I clicked into Amazon and it had reduced again!  Our God cares about the details.  He wants my babies to be safe, and He knows our limited resources (but there you have it -- He works with my limited resources and then adds His vast, UNlimited resources!).

If you want to help us get there, you can jump in our 12 Days of Christmas in Spring celebration with gifts for all who help at BRINGING ANGEL HOME.

And if you'd simply like to add a tax deductible gift to help unite our children across the sea with their family, you can do that HERE.