And then there were five...five days left to take care of all the details one has to manage before taking an extended trip. Five days left to enjoy our own home. Five days left to eat American food (although the only thing I'll really miss is fried chicken and Salvatore's pizza ... everything else is better over there, anyhow!).
But today the number on my mind is TWO. I only have 2 days left with my children before they head to spend one or two months with my family (it all depends on how long Daddy and Mommy have to be away). I'm happy that they will have fun and stay together, but I am heart broken at the thought of leaving them. I know it works for some families, but I never leave my kids. I just don't. That being said, my best friend and aunt are doing the unthinkably awesome thing of giving our children a fantastic vacation and loving them in our absence; we are so blessed to have them!
I always try to focus on the positive. I like to share the exciting parts of the journey, and to focus on the blessings and joys of it. But the truth is that it is a process filled with trials and challenges and heartbreaks. It's not all sunshine and roses.
I am leaving four beautiful, thriving, well loved (by oh-so-many!) children to go after two forgotten, alone, and well loved (by us!) children. I am leaving the family we already have to pursue the family we love that is not already with us. It is worth it because then there will be six thriving children. The cost is great, but the rewards are priceless. They are eternal.
In a perfect world I would not have to do this. In a perfect world, I would never have had to hold my princess while she cries about being separated from us, or my lil man while he weeps for fear that we'll be gone forever. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to worry about my toddler not understand or my eldest feeling abandoned. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have two children sitting in cribs day after day and not being showered with all the love they deserve.
But we live in an imperfect world. And adoption is an imperfect solution to a horrible problem. I'm not God's Plan A for my kids, but because of sin I am His rescue mission. I am humbled, honored, and happy to be that rescue plan. But it grieves me that there are children who need me to be.
Today I am praying, "LORD, Come Quickly!"
If you want to support this journey we're on, you're tax deductible gift can be made HERE
But today the number on my mind is TWO. I only have 2 days left with my children before they head to spend one or two months with my family (it all depends on how long Daddy and Mommy have to be away). I'm happy that they will have fun and stay together, but I am heart broken at the thought of leaving them. I know it works for some families, but I never leave my kids. I just don't. That being said, my best friend and aunt are doing the unthinkably awesome thing of giving our children a fantastic vacation and loving them in our absence; we are so blessed to have them!
I always try to focus on the positive. I like to share the exciting parts of the journey, and to focus on the blessings and joys of it. But the truth is that it is a process filled with trials and challenges and heartbreaks. It's not all sunshine and roses.
I am leaving four beautiful, thriving, well loved (by oh-so-many!) children to go after two forgotten, alone, and well loved (by us!) children. I am leaving the family we already have to pursue the family we love that is not already with us. It is worth it because then there will be six thriving children. The cost is great, but the rewards are priceless. They are eternal.
In a perfect world I would not have to do this. In a perfect world, I would never have had to hold my princess while she cries about being separated from us, or my lil man while he weeps for fear that we'll be gone forever. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to worry about my toddler not understand or my eldest feeling abandoned. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have two children sitting in cribs day after day and not being showered with all the love they deserve.
But we live in an imperfect world. And adoption is an imperfect solution to a horrible problem. I'm not God's Plan A for my kids, but because of sin I am His rescue mission. I am humbled, honored, and happy to be that rescue plan. But it grieves me that there are children who need me to be.
Today I am praying, "LORD, Come Quickly!"
If you want to support this journey we're on, you're tax deductible gift can be made HERE
No comments:
Post a Comment